Oh My Gawd
by LikeWoahhh
Summary: Gay boys, birthday parties, emos, and lots more. My randomness that was created at 1:00 am. Rated T for language.
1. Ohmygod They're Gay

**I'm bored, tired, and have no idea where this story's  
going. But it'll be random and weird, so if you don't like  
that then fuck off.**

Chapter One

Because everyone is always at the Curtis', everyone was there. Of course Two-Bit was watching Mickey mouse. But things were DIFFERENT on this.. er... special day. Because it was... Dally's birthday? Yeah, that's right. All of the lights were off, and everyone was waiting for Dally to come inside, except the fact that the t.v. was on made it light, so you could see everyone. Anyway, when Dally finally arrived, everyone forgot to jump out.

Except Ponyboy, who jumped out, collapsed, fell onto Steve, and blew up.

At this, Dally got very pissed off and began to yell.

"WHAT THE FUCK! THERE'S BLOOD ON THE CARPET!"

Johnny blinked.

"Oh I'll add more."

Then he cut himself, because you know, he's so totally emo, popped a vein, and died along with Ponyboy. But after realizing that nobody cared, he magically got up and glared at the rest of them.

"I'm DEAD!"

But everyone was glued to the t.v., and didn't care. Because no one really cared about anything, because you know. But then, Darry turend to him, ackowledging him for once. Because you know, Johnny's so quiet and shy that no one can ever hear him to acknowledge him anyway.

"Hey aren't you suppsoed to be dead? I thought that church killed you."

Johnny looked around nervously.

"You saw nothing!" he said, vanishing.

And just after that, Ponyboy began to peice himself back together with the blown up bits of... himself. Two-Bit was the one to acknowledge _this, _and decided to enlighten everyone with his err... smart-ness?

"Hey Pony... If you're a Pony can I ride you?"

Ponyboy grinned a physco killer/murder/creepy grin and started moving towards his bedroom door, nodding like crazy. Two-Bit followed him inside, and a few seconds later the springs on the bed could be heard... springing? 

"OHMYGOD THEY'RE GAY!" Darry shrieked in a girly voice, before shipping the both of them off to Iraq where they were bombed seven hundred times.

**Lmao. Not sure if there will be more...  
Maybe if I feel like it, but right now it's  
1:16 am and I've gotta get some sleep.**


	2. Iraq Adventures

I feel like updating this, so I'm going to. I need to  
learn how to spell-check stuff. xD****

Chapter Two  
_Iraq Adventures_

Two-Bit and Ponyboy, now bloody blobs on the ground of Iraq, got up and walked over to a creepy old man who just happened to be there. (A/N: I never knew blobs could walk.)

Ironically, they were peiced back together by some invisible, incredible, super-strong, magic force. Even though that is pretty impossible. But as they approached the old geezer, they found that he was asleep. So what was better to do than kick him to wake him up?

As Two-Bit inched his foot closer to his face, the man suddenly sat bolt upright, grabbed his leg, and bit it off.

"OH MY GAWD!" The man yelled. "TASTES LIKE CHICKEN!"

Two-Bit, grinning, offered him the other leg, which he happily took. Then he ate Ponyboy's toes which, like Two-Bits legs, magically grew back. Then, the three of them sarted singing.

"OOOOH, IRAQ IS A WONDERRRRRRRRRRFUL PLACE! (For weed!)"

Two-Bit suddenly stopped singing and stared at the old man in shock.

"What's weed?"

"IT'S WHAT I'M ON YOUNG MAN! HERE, HAVE SOME."

And a bag of green stuff was shoved in his face. Without even needing to be told how to, Two-Bit rolled a joint to split with Ponyboy. Soon enough, they were as high as the old guy.

Seeing a bomb on the ground, Ponyboy walked over to it and swallowed it whole, then blew up for like... the third time. And for the third time, the invisible, incredible, super-strong, magic force peiced him back together again.

He burped.

Suddenly, all eyes turned on him and it got really quiet.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S THE BURP OF THE DEVIL!" The high old man, who was really named Barbara shrieked.

Then, Ponyboy was tied to a tree and stabbed to death. But ironically, he was still alive, and started laughing insane laughter.

"YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL ME I'M... I'M... HMM... I'M CAT FOOD!"

And then, he turned into cat food.

"HEY! COOL!" He yelled, because writing in caps is cool. Just like turning into cat food is cool.

Then, a cat appeared out of nowhere and ate him.

But after he'd been eaten, he turned back to himslef and couldn't fit in the cats stomach anymore, so he burst out, causing the cat to blow up.

Two-Bit however, didn't notice because he was too busy sucking the crazy old mans toes.

And then, EVERYTHING WENT BLACK.

**Lol wow. Corrine gave me the toe-sucking idea  
because she always asks people if she can suck  
their toes. xD**

_  
_


	3. Ovedone Topics & Marysues

I feel like upadating every story on my account, so I will.  
I decided I'm going to make fun of marysues now. God I'll  
probably be flamed. :) BRING IT, BITCHES. Haa.

**Chapter Three**

**  
**SUDDENLY, Two-Bit and Ponyboy were back in the Curtis' living room, and everyone waved happily at them, as if they hadn't sent them to Iraq at all.

Then, they saw a pretty girl walk out of the kitchen. Of course she was BEAUTIFUL, but of course she just had to look tough too! And even _tuff_! Instantly, every boy in the room fell in complete love for her, even Ponyboy, even though it clearly states in the book that he is **not **interested in girls yet. And they hadn't even known her for a week yet! You know, it was love at first sight. So basically, they fell in love with her looks, which were PERFECT.

"I LOVE YOU!" they all shouted at once, rushing to surround the girl, who giggled. Her giggle was disgustingly annoying, but they didn't notice.

"And I love all of you too, even though I know _nothing_ about you," she replied.

It turns out that the girl's name was Chavonne, even though in the sixties people had simple names, like Jane or Mary. Not Arianna, or any of that crap.

So then a bunch of socs came in and tried to jump them. Of course, Chavonne saved them all because she was oh-so-strong and tough, yet a VERY beautiful girl.

"Ponyboy, Soda, Darry," she said suddenly, as the socs disappeared into thin air.

They waited.

"I'm your sister!" she exclaimed happily, and even though they can hardly support themselves, they allowed her to stay with them. And everyone was happy. Everyone loved her, because as I said before, she was perfect.

Eventually, Dally fell for her, even though he doesn't love or care about anyone but Johnny. But you know, he loved her alot. So he broke up with Sylvia.

Then, Steve fell for her. Followed by Two-Bit, Johnny, and even Soda. Even though he was her 'brother'. Incest, dude.

THEN, another girl appeared. She was beaten very badly, and had a horrible, horrible past! It was oh-so-tragic. She was quiet, JUST LIKE JOHNNY. So, he fell for _her_ because she was SO MUCH like him. God, ever heard of opposites attracting? asags.

Then, Soda fell in love with Johnny's sister. But wait, who the fuck is this SISTER? No sister of Johnny's was mentioned in the book. Two-Bit is the only one in the gang who ACTUALLY has a sister, okay? God, give it up. The Curtis' don't have a sister, Steve doesn't, Johnny doesn't. If you wanna write about someone's damn sister write about Two-Bit's.

Then Johnny and the girl disappeared into Darry's room, where they fucked eachother's brains out. Because you know, he'd do that. He would. If he was Dally.

Then Ponyboy and Soda were put in a boys home. And no one noticed.

**Some things I don't TOTALLY hate, they're just overdone and are  
everywhere you look, on EVERY SINGLE page. It's annoying.**


	4. Ponyboy's Pissed :D

Okay, so I am officially PISSED OFF. And this time, It's not even because of reviews. My 'friend'  
got asked out by the guy I like. Mkay, _that's_ not even it. She KNOWS I like him, but she fucking  
(THERE I GO WITH MY LANGUAGE AGAIN) said yes. So honestly, I do not need anyone's crap right  
now. If you have nothing good to say then seriously. Just screw off. This just hasn't been my week,  
I swear to god. Life hates me. :) AND MAYBE I DID BRING THE FLAMES ON MYSELF, BUT I'D LIKE  
YOU TO REVEAL YOURSELF 'SOMEONE', WHO REVIEWED BOB'S REVENGE, BECAUSE IT WASN'T REALLY  
A FLAME, SO I HAVE NO REASON TO BE MAD. Even though it kinda made me just a little bit madder  
but yeah. I'm dumb like that. Maybe I ALSO brought it on myself by not asking him out before he asked  
her out. Obviously, I bring things on myself. Yeah. Okay, I brought the flame things on myself cuz I   
didn't know they'd hurt so much, but I didn't bring THAT fucking mess on myself. Authors note too long.****

Chapter Four

Ponyboy was PISSED OFF (of course). He couldn't get that DAMN pickle jar open! Ponyboy tried and tried, but each attempt failed horribly. So that just got Ponyboy even more angry, and he smashed the pickle jar against the wall. (A/N: I should try that. I'd get in crap, but oh well.)

"STUPIDFUCKINGPICKLEJAR!" he yelled, stomping on the ground, steam coming out of his ears now because he was so incredibly angry.

He became SO angry that he began to rip the couch coushions (sp?) to shreds. But when he found out that was impossible, he took to pounding his fist into it instead. Until Darry came in, screamed, and pulled Ponyboy off the couch. He fell on Darry in a sexual way.

"PONY, THIS LOOKS SEXUAL!" Darry yelled so loudly that the other five members of the gang came rushing into the living room.

When they saw Ponyboy and Darry they froze.

"OH MY GAWD!" Steve shrieked, jumping into Dally's arms. Dally dropped him on the ground and watched with disgust as he started to cry.

"OWWW! DALLASSSSSSS! THAT HURT!"

And Soda picked Steve up, carried him into the kitchen and fed him that soft food you feed your dog that's flavoured like different kinds of meat. It smells really bad.

"I WANT A LOVER I DON'T HAVE TO LOVEEEEEE," Two-Bit started singing randomly. (A/N: I just saw that title and HAD to put it in here.)

It was Johnny's turn to get mad now.

"TWO-BIT YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" he screeched.

"HEY!" Darry yelled, his eyes wide. "DON'T SWEAR!"

"FUCK, BITCH, SLUT, CUNT," Johnny challenged.

And Soda took him to the kitchen to feed him the dog food as well. And force-feed him cheese because he forgot it was soap you were supposed to shove down people's throats, not cheese. SILLY SODA.

Then Ponyboy and Darry started to do the rain dance.

" 'CAUSE IT'S THE DANCE THAT NEVER ENDSSSS," Darry started.

"YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDSSSSSS. SOME PEOPLE STARTED DOING IT-"

There was an awkward silence until Darry, his face red with anger, shrieked:

"OTHER PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING WHAT WE'VE BEEN DOING?!"

Two-Bit looked angrier than Darry as he got all up in Ponyboy's face and yelled:

"YOU CHEATED ON ME?!!!"

What a day.


	5. GAY SHOES!

**Oh My Gawd  
**_Chapter Five_

**A/N:** Yes, I think I'm back. (Glances at shirt)  
In uh, green. And I haven't updated this  
story (or anything for that matter) in  
foreverrr. And another thing.  
This chapter is dedicated to the oh-so  
disgusting crocs.  
(No offense to anyone who owns a pair.)

--

"Hey guys, check this out."

Two-Bit was pointing at his feet, which were covered by a brand new pair of... were those even shoes? They looked suspiciously like cheese, but only because they were yellow and had multiple holes in them. Why Two-Bit had went and bought (or stole, for that matter) a pair of shoes with fucking holes in them was a mystery to the gang, who were now staring down at his feet. Two-Bit however, looked quite proud of his new attire.

"Why would you want shoes with holes in them, Two-Bit?" Ponyboy asked, tearing his eyes away from the shoes to look at his face. Did he just steal them for the hell of it or something? Because honestly, Ponyboy was hoping so. Maybe he was going to ditch them in a pond later? After all, if he didn't, he was likely to get beat up just because of them.

"Ah, they're comfortable. I actually paid for 'em, too." His proud grin had widened, causing Ponyboy to shaked his head in disbelief. He was _serious. _And what was worse was that he had actually spent money on the mostrosities. Honestly, words could not describe how extremely revolting the things were.

"What if it rains? The water will get through the holes," Dally pointed out before taking a long drag of his cigarette.

Suddenly, Darry and Johnny came outside to see what all the fuss was about (Steve had fallen on the ground laughing hysterically, and had soon been joined by Soda). But as soon as they saw Two-Bit's shoes, in unsion, they both screamed; "OMGAWD!"

"THOSE ARE THE UGLIEST MOTHER FUCKERS I'VE EVER SEEN!" Johnny shrieked, sounding... delighted, even though he was quite the opposite. And then he began to jump up and down screaming; "GAY SHOES! GAY SHOES!" repeatedly. Non-stop.

This went on for about an hour or two, the rest of the greasers just standing there staring at him... jumping up and down... yelling. It was a wonder they didn't go insane. Of course, after the hour (or two), Johnny still wouldn't shut up, so, seeing as there was _no_ other way, Soda walked up to him and... POKED HIS STOMACH! _(instert horrified gasps here)._

Instantly, he fell onto the cold, hard pavement and began laughing hysterically. Johnny had always been incredibly ticklish.

"GAHHHH!" he shrieked, after realizing that his head was right beside Two-Bit's shoes. And as a result to this, he clamped his hands over his ears, shut his eyes and started to roll on the ground repeating; "Gay shoes" over and over again. ...Again.

While he was doing this, Bob Sheldon and Randy Anderson walked up the driveway and struck a pose. "Look at our shoes," Bob said, batting his eyelashes at Ponyboy. "Aren't they like, totally hot?"

"Like, totally?" Randy added, flipping non-exsistent hair over his shoulder.

Ponyboy however, just slowly backed away, looking truly horrified. Were Bob and Randy acting gay, or was it just him? But Two-Bit however, seemed to have other ideas. He snapped his fingers and instantly, long, luxurious hair grew down to his mid-back. Flipping it over his shoulder, much like Randy had done, he smirked. "Like, totally. I mean, they come in _multi colours_!" Squealing in excitement, Randy, Bob and him joined hands and began jumping up and down all together.

"Like, Dallas," Randy said suddenly, as if just noticing him for the first time. "BUY SOME CROCS, THEY'RE NOT HARD LIKE ROCKS. THEY'RE CUSHY AND SQUISHY AND MAGICALLY GUSHY SO DALLAS BUY SOME CROCSSSSSSS!"

After this little song was finished, Dally just shrugged. "Whatever, man." Then a pair of crocs magically appeared on his feet, and he began dancing around gleefully with Two-Bit, Randy and Bob, while Johnny's chant of "Gay shoes" grew louder and louder, until soon all of the gang, minus him, was parading around with them, all wearing crocs on their feet.

Suddenly, in mid-chant, Johnny stood up.

"Aw well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

A pair of crocs appeared on his feet as well, and he joyfully joined the little parade of croc-wearing socs and greasers. Until of course, a coment fell from the sky, squishing them all, and their revolting shoes to boot.


End file.
